I cannot find a place to stand on my own in the present. I am so caught up in a death-grip from the past; old actions and reactions haunt my every move. I reach behind me to release the catch and yet, almost as a wind-up toy that gets stuck in one position and can't be freed, I am ratcheted into a contorted stance. I am definitely unbalanced.
When I am frazzled, my emotions are like raw nerve endings and everything around seems to be in CHAOS! The counter is cluttered, all of my underwear are in the laundry, and I've got stacks of bills to contend with . . mirroring the disrupted and unattended muck I seem to be unconsciously shuffling around.
I am constantly making excuses and explanations. I've got a busy
schedule, I just cleaned (I have no idea how this happened), I'm going to get to it on Friday, the check is in the mail.
Friday has come and gone and I'm still a mess, inside and out. I've tried to ignore it, but I can't find a place to hide. Any ideas?
